“I’ve been trying to get down to the heart of the matter, but my flesh gets weak, and the ashes start to scatter; but I think its about FORGIVENESS, Forgiveness! “
Don Henley via India Arie
In my years of lived experiences, I have had to come face-to-face with many of the life principles that I profess to believe in. I’ve struggled with the principle of “sowing and reaping” (whatsoever a persons soweth, that shall they also reap). I have had to wrestle for many weeks, days and hours with the principle of self-esteem (as a person thinketh in their heart, so are they). I have been in the gladiators collesium with the lived experience of love (Love thy neighbor as thyself, no exceptions); but no battle has been more difficult for me in my life than the issue of betrayal and forgiveness.
I don’t know about you, but for me, betrayal is a feeling I wish not upon the people who mean me most harm. Betryal feels like taking an alcohol shower with open wounds. It hurts and burns like hell (literally). The reason that betrayal cuts deeper than any other slit, is because betrayal happens with people that are close enough to pierce the soul. When your soul has been cut, you are rocked at the core of your being. Trust flies out of your heart and mind like a rocket blazing underneath the evening sky (Shouts out to Stevie Wonder for that beautiful analogy), and you can’t see your way back to place of reliance and closeness. You are empty.
I found and still find myself searching for a path to wholeness. A road to live out my rhetoric of the “higher path.” The more I search, the more I find that I know what the road is. I’ve been taught where to go. But the teeth of pain and distrust often have me in their grip, and I can’t get loose.
I’ve gotta run to FORGIVENESS. To whom much has been offended, much must be forgiven. Phillip Yancey said “…to forgive is to set a prisoner free and to discover that the prisoner was you…”
I want to be free. We all want to be free. The only way for us who have been betrayed to be loosened from our slavery is to free ourselves. I’m not certain that I have the power to give myself amnesia and forget; in fact, that would be foolish. When a person tells you who they are…believe them. However, that belief doesn’t have to hold me hostage.
“These times are so uncertain, there’s a yearning undefined…the people fill with rage.
We all need a little tenderness, how can Love survive in such a graceless age?
The trust and self-assurance that lead to happiness are the very things we kill, guess…
The more I know, the less I understand, All the things I thought i’d figured out, I have to learn again…
“I’ve been trying to get down to the heart of the matter, but my will gets weak, and my thoughts seem to scatter;
but i know its about forgiveness…”
Luke 16:3,4 (READ IT,i’m trying to)
Peace comes from freeing yourself…Forgive…